Bible Verses About Loving Yourself
Introduction
The biblical teaching on loving yourself is more nuanced and more important than either of the two extremes that the contemporary conversation tends toward. The first extreme dismisses self-love entirely as selfishness or pride, citing the call to deny yourself and take up your cross (Matthew 16:24) as the comprehensive biblical word on the subject. The second extreme endorses a therapeutic self-love that makes the self the primary object of its own care and attention, reading the love yourself of the great commandment as the independent instruction rather than what the text actually says.
What the great commandment actually says is love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39). The as yourself is not the command to love yourself but the specific measure of the love of the neighbor: the same quality of attention and care and provision that the person naturally gives to their own needs is the quality of the attention and care and provision that the love of the neighbor requires. The as yourself assumes the self-love rather than commanding it: the person who loves the neighbor as themselves is the person who recognizes that the neighbor has the same needs and the same dignity that the self has, and who extends the same quality of care to the neighbor that the self naturally provides for itself.
The theological ground for the proper regard of the self is not the therapeutic self-love of the culture but the imago Dei: the human being who is made in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:26-27) is the human being who has an inherent dignity and worth that does not depend on the performance or the achievement or the approval of others. The person who is made in the image of God is the person who deserves the same regard that the image of God always deserves. The Psalm 139:14's I am fearfully and wonderfully made is the specific statement of the proper regard for the self: the self is the fearfully and wonderfully made creation of the God who made it with the specific intention and the specific care.
These verses speak to anyone who has confused the biblical call to self-denial with the demand for self-hatred, anyone who is struggling to receive the love of God toward themselves personally, and anyone who needs the specific biblical grounding for the proper regard of the self that is the prerequisite for the genuinely loving regard of the neighbor.
What the Bible Means When It Talks About Loving Yourself
The great commandment's love your neighbor as yourself uses the Greek word agapao for the love and the heauton for the self: the love of the self that the commandment assumes is the natural care and provision that every person gives to their own needs. The distinction between the proper regard of the self and the sinful self-centeredness is the distinction between the philautos of 2 Timothy 3:2's lovers of themselves, which describes the person who has made the self the center that replaces God and the neighbor, and the proper regard of the self that is the prerequisite for the love of the neighbor.
Bible Verses About the Dignity of the Self
Psalm 139:13-14 — ("For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.")
The you created my inmost being and you knit me together and I am fearfully and wonderfully made are the three specific statements of the divine intentionality in the making of the specific person: the self that the person is is the specific, intentional creation of the God who knit them together with the care and the intention of the one who is making something wonderful. The I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made is the specific response: the proper regard of the self is the praise of the God who made the self rather than the contempt for the self that fails to honor the maker. The fearfully and wonderfully establishes the quality: the self is not the accident or the failure but the fearfully and wonderfully made creation of the intentional God.
Genesis 1:26-27 — ("Then God said, 'Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky...' So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.")
The in the image of God he created them is the foundational statement of the dignity of every human self: the self that each person is carries the specific dignity of the imago Dei rather than the value that the performance or the achievement or the approval of others confers. The male and female he created them establishes the universal scope: the image of God is the dignity of every human being regardless of the gender or the achievement or the social standing. The proper regard of the self is the acknowledgment of the dignity that the image of God confers rather than the achievement of the sufficient performance.
Bible Verses About Receiving God's Love for Yourself
Romans 8:38-39 — ("For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.")
The nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God is the comprehensive statement of the inseparability: the love of God for the specific person is the love that nothing in the creation can remove. The I am convinced establishes the personal character: Paul is not stating the theological proposition but expressing the personal conviction. The proper regard of the self is the receiving of this love personally rather than only assenting to it theologically.
1 John 3:1 — ("See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!")
The see what great love the Father has lavished on us is the specific instruction to observe and receive the love: the lavished love is the love poured out in abundance rather than the minimal provision. The that we should be called children of God and that is what we are establishes the specific identity: the self of the person who has received the love of the Father is the self that is genuinely and presently the child of God rather than the self that is aspiring to the identity or hoping for the confirmation. The proper regard of the self is the receiving of the identity that the lavished love of the Father has given.
Ephesians 2:10 — ("For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.")
The we are God's handiwork is the specific statement of the divine authorship of the self: the poiema, the poem or the masterpiece, is the image of the self as the specific, intentional, artful creation of the God who made it. The created in Christ Jesus establishes the new creation: the self that is being described is not only the original creation of the Genesis 1 image of God but the new creation of the person who is in Christ Jesus. The to do good works which God prepared in advance establishes the specific purpose: the self is the God's handiwork that was made for the specific purpose that the God who made it has already prepared.
Bible Verses About the Proper Balance of Self-Regard
Matthew 22:39 — ("And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'")
The love your neighbor as yourself is the specific measure of the love of the neighbor: the same quality of attention and care and provision that the self naturally gives to its own needs is the quality that the love of the neighbor requires. The as yourself assumes the self-love rather than commanding it: the commandment assumes that the person cares for and provides for themselves and uses that natural self-care as the specific measure of the care that the neighbor deserves. The love of the neighbor as yourself is the specific extension of the natural self-care to the neighbor rather than the replacement of the self-care with the neighbor-care.
Mark 12:31 — ("The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these.")
The no commandment greater than these establishes the comprehensive character of the two commandments together: the love of God with the whole person and the love of the neighbor as the self are the two commandments that summarize the whole of the biblical instruction. The as yourself in the context of the greatest commandments establishes the proper regard of the self as the assumed ground of the love of the neighbor: the person who has no regard for themselves has no measure for the regard of the neighbor.
Romans 12:3 — ("For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.")
The think of yourself with sober judgment is the specific instruction for the proper regard of the self: the sober judgment is the accurate assessment that neither inflates the self beyond what the grace has made it nor deflates the self below what the grace has made it. The do not think more highly than you ought establishes the upper boundary. The in accordance with the faith God has distributed establishes the ground: the sober judgment of the self is the assessment that corresponds to what the grace of God has actually given rather than the inflation or the deflation that the pride or the self-contempt produces.
Bible Verses About Self-Denial and Its Proper Meaning
Matthew 16:24 — ("Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.'")
The deny yourself and take up your cross is the specific call to the reorientation of the self around the following of Jesus rather than the destruction of the self: the denial of the self is the denial of the self that is centered on its own agenda and the taking up of the cross that follows Jesus wherever Jesus goes. The deny yourself is not the command to despise the self or to treat the self as worthless but the command to release the control of the self's agenda to the one who calls the following. The proper self-denial is the self-giving of the person who has properly received the self from God and offers it back in the following of Jesus.
Galatians 2:20 — ("I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.")
The I no longer live but Christ lives in me and the life I now live I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me is the specific statement of the self that has been crucified with Christ and now lives from the faith rather than from the old self's agenda. The who loved me and gave himself for me is the specific personal statement: the self that lives by faith is the self that knows the love of the Son of God for them specifically. The proper self-denial is the specific surrender of the self that has received the specific love of the Son who gave himself for it.
A Simple Way to Pray These Verses
Loving yourself properly is most honestly prayed from the honest acknowledgment of both the specific ways the self has been diminished and the specific invitation to receive the love of God personally rather than only theologically.
Psalm 139:14 — ("I am fearfully and wonderfully made.") Response: "I am receiving this. Not as the theological statement about humanity in general but as the specific statement about the self that I am. You made me fearfully and wonderfully. Let me receive the fearfully and wonderfully as the description of the specific person you made me to be rather than rejecting it as the claim I have not yet earned."
Romans 8:39 — ("Nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God.") Response: "Nothing. I am naming the specific things I have been treating as the exceptions to the nothing: the specific failures and the specific inadequacies and the specific shames. Let the nothing be the comprehensive answer to every exception I have been making. Nothing separates me from the love of God in Christ Jesus."
Romans 12:3 — ("Think of yourself with sober judgment.") Response: "Let the sober judgment be the specific alternative to both the inflation and the deflation. Not more than you have made me. Not less than you have made me. In accordance with the faith you have distributed to me. Let me see myself accurately: the fearfully and wonderfully made creation of the God who has lavished love on me and called me his child."
Frequently Asked Questions
Does the Bible say to love yourself? The great commandment's love your neighbor as yourself assumes the self-love rather than commanding it: the as yourself is the measure of the love of the neighbor rather than the independent instruction to love the self. The proper regard of the self that the Bible grounds is not the therapeutic self-love of the culture but the recognition of the imago Dei dignity of the Genesis 1:26-27 and the fearfully and wonderfully made of the Psalm 139:14 and the we are God's handiwork of Ephesians 2:10. The biblical ground for the proper regard of the self is the character of the God who made the self and the love of the God who gave the Son for the self rather than the self's own inherent worthiness.
What is the difference between proper self-love and selfishness? The Romans 12:3's think of yourself with sober judgment establishes the distinction: the proper regard of the self is the accurate assessment that neither inflates the self beyond what the grace has made it nor deflates it below what the grace has made it. The selfishness of 2 Timothy 3:2's lovers of themselves is the specific condition of the person who has made the self the center that replaces God and the neighbor: the self that is loved at the expense of God and the neighbor is the self of the selfishness. The proper regard of the self is the regard that recognizes the imago Dei dignity of the self and uses that recognition as the ground for the recognition of the same dignity in the neighbor.
How do I receive God's love for myself personally? The 1 John 3:1's see what great love the Father has lavished on us is the specific instruction: the seeing and the receiving of the lavished love is the specific practice. The Romans 5:8's while we were still sinners Christ died for us establishes the ground: the love that God demonstrated was demonstrated toward the specific person before the specific person had done anything to deserve it. The receiving of the love of God personally is the specific practice of the person who applies the theological statement to the specific self: the God so loved the world is the God so loved me, specifically, in the specific condition I was in when the love was demonstrated.
Does self-denial mean not loving yourself? The Matthew 16:24's deny yourself and take up your cross is the specific call to the reorientation of the self around the following of Jesus rather than the destruction of the self. The denial of the self is the denial of the self that is centered on its own agenda rather than the denial that the self has value or dignity. The Galatians 2:20's I no longer live but Christ lives in me is the specific description of the self that has been given over to Christ: the self that no longer lives for its own agenda but for the Christ who loved it and gave himself for it. The proper self-denial is the self-giving of the person who has properly received the self from God and offers it back in the love and the following.
What does it mean to think of yourself with sober judgment? The Romans 12:3's think of yourself with sober judgment in accordance with the faith God has distributed is the specific instruction for the accurate assessment of the self: the sober judgment is neither the inflation of the self that thinks more highly than it ought nor the deflation of the self that thinks less highly than the grace of God has made it. The in accordance with the faith God has distributed establishes the specific measure: the sober judgment corresponds to what the grace of God has actually given rather than the performance the self has achieved or failed to achieve. The person who thinks of themselves with sober judgment is the person who sees themselves as the God who made them sees them: the fearfully and wonderfully made creation in the image of God who is the handiwork of the God who prepared the good works in advance.
