Bible Verses About Marriage and Love
Introduction
Marriage in the biblical account is not primarily a social institution or a legal arrangement but a theological reality: the covenant between two people that is grounded in and reflective of the covenant between God and his people. The Ephesians 5 passage that makes many contemporary readers uncomfortable because of its language about wives and husbands is the passage that grounds the entire marriage relationship in the most comprehensive theological reality available: the relationship between Christ and the church. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). The specific measure of the love is the giving up of himself: the cross is the definition of what the love of the husband looks like in the marriage relationship.
The Genesis account establishes the foundational theology of the marriage before the fall disrupts the creation: the man and the woman who are bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh (Genesis 2:23) are the two who become one flesh in the specific union that the marriage creates. The leaving of the father and the mother and the holding fast to the spouse and the becoming one flesh are the three specific acts of the marriage: the leaving, the cleaving, and the one flesh are the comprehensive description of what the marriage is and does. The one flesh is not only the sexual union but the comprehensive merging of the two lives into the shared life of the covenant.
The New Testament's contribution to the theology of marriage is the specific grounding of the marriage in the relationship between Christ and the church: the marriage is the specific human enactment of the covenant love that is the character of God and the character of the relationship between Christ and the church. The love of the marriage is not the love of the favorable feeling toward the person who is currently pleasing but the agape love that gives itself up for the good of the other regardless of the return. The marriage that is grounded in this love is the marriage that reflects the love of God.
These verses speak to anyone who is preparing for marriage and needs the theological grounding for what the covenant they are entering actually is, anyone who is in a marriage that needs the renewal of the vision of what the marriage was designed to be, and anyone who needs the specific pastoral provision of the Scripture for the ordinary and the difficult seasons of the married life.
What the Bible Means When It Talks About Marriage
The Hebrew word berith describes the covenant: the binding agreement of the two parties that creates the specific relationship of the commitment and the faithfulness. The marriage is the specific covenant that the Malachi 2:14's the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant establishes. The Hebrew word yada describes the knowing of the intimate relationship: the Genesis 4:1's Adam knew his wife is the specific use of the intimate knowing for the sexual relationship within the marriage.
The Greek word gamos describes the marriage itself. The Greek word agape describes the specific quality of the love that the Ephesians 5 commands for the marriage: the love of the will and the action that gives itself up for the good of the other. The Greek word kephale describes the head of the Ephesians 5:23: the headship that is defined by the self-giving love of the Christ who gave himself up for the church rather than the headship of the authority that serves its own interests.
Bible Verses About the Foundation of Marriage
Genesis 2:23-24 — ("The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called "woman," for she was taken out of man.' That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.")
The bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh is the first human speech in the Scripture: the recognition of the one who is both the same and the other, the one who shares the same nature and yet is the distinct person with whom the union is possible. The leaving and the uniting and the becoming one flesh are the three acts of the marriage: the leaving of the primary loyalty of the family of origin, the cleaving to the spouse as the new primary loyalty, and the becoming one flesh that the union creates. The one flesh is the comprehensive merger of the two lives rather than only the sexual union: the marriage creates the new unit of the one flesh from the two who were separate.
Matthew 19:4-6 — ("'Haven't you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh"? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'")
The what God has joined together let no one separate is the specific statement of the divine authorship of the marriage: the joining is the act of God rather than only the act of the two people who have chosen each other. The so they are no longer two but one flesh establishes the comprehensive character of the union: the marriage creates the new reality of the one flesh that is more than the sum of the two individuals. The let no one separate establishes the specific protection: the one flesh that God has joined is the one flesh that is not to be separated by the human decision.
Proverbs 18:22 — ("He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.")
The finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD is the specific statement of the goodness and the divine provision of the marriage: the wife is the good thing that the man finds and the finding is the specific receipt of the LORD's favor. The marriage is not the neutral arrangement of the social contract but the specific gift of the favor of the LORD. The goodness is the comprehensive quality: the wife is the good that God commends and provides rather than the concession to the weakness of the person who cannot manage the solitary life.
Bible Verses About Love in Marriage
Ephesians 5:25-28 — ("Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.")
The just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her is the specific standard for the love of the husband: the love is not the love of the favorable feeling toward the wife who is currently pleasing but the agape love that gives itself up for the good of the wife. The gave himself up establishes the measure: the cross is the specific definition of what the love of the husband looks like in the marriage. The love your wives as your own bodies establishes the practical character: the love of the wife is the same quality of care and attention that the husband naturally gives to his own body.
Song of Solomon 8:6-7 — ("Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one's house for love, it would be utterly scorned.")
The love is as strong as death and many waters cannot quench love is the specific statement of the character of the love within the marriage: the love is not the fragile sentiment that the difficulties extinguish but the fire that the many waters cannot quench. The strong as death establishes the intensity: the love of the marriage is the love that has the same tenacity as the death that nothing in the creation can prevent. The many waters cannot quench it establishes the persistence: the floods and the difficulties and the years do not extinguish the love that the marriage was designed to sustain.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 — ("Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.")
The patient and kind and not self-seeking and keeping no record of wrongs and always persevering are the specific qualities of the agape love that the marriage requires: the love that is described here is not the love of the favorable feeling but the practice of the will that continues regardless of the conditions. The keeps no record of wrongs is the specific act of the love that refuses the accounting that would justify the withdrawal of the commitment. The always perseveres is the comprehensive statement: the love that the marriage requires is the love that continues when everything argues for its withdrawal.
Bible Verses About Covenant Faithfulness in Marriage
Malachi 2:14-15 — ("You ask, 'Why?' It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.")
The the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth establishes the divine presence in the marriage covenant: the marriage is not only the agreement between two people but the covenant that the LORD witnesses and holds the parties accountable to. The wife of your marriage covenant establishes the specific language of the covenant for the marriage relationship: the marriage is the berith, the binding covenant, rather than the social arrangement that can be dissolved when the conditions change. The be on your guard and do not be unfaithful establishes the specific instruction: the faithfulness to the marriage covenant is the guarding of the covenant that the LORD has witnessed.
Hebrews 13:4 — ("Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.")
The marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure is the specific instruction for the comprehensive honor of the marriage: the honoring is the active regard for the marriage as the covenant that it is rather than the passive acknowledgment of its existence. The kept pure establishes the specific practice: the marriage bed is the specific space of the one flesh union that belongs to the covenant and is to be kept from the intrusion of the lust and the unfaithfulness. The God will judge establishes the divine seriousness: the honoring of the marriage is the specific accountability before the God who takes the covenant seriously.
Bible Verses About the Mutual Character of the Marriage
Ephesians 5:21 — ("Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.")
The submit to one another out of reverence for Christ is the specific statement that precedes the specific instructions to the wives and the husbands: the mutual submission is the comprehensive principle from which the specific applications flow. The out of reverence for Christ establishes the theological ground: the mutual submission is the specific expression of the reverence for the Christ who submitted himself to the cross for the good of the church. The marriage that begins with the mutual submission of the Ephesians 5:21 is the marriage that practices the specific applications of Ephesians 5:22-33 from the ground of the mutual giving.
1 Corinthians 7:3-4 — ("The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.")
The husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife and the wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband is the specific statement of the mutuality of the one flesh relationship: the yielding is the mutual practice of the two who have become one flesh. The marital duty is the specific obligation that each owes the other: the one flesh relationship is the relationship of the mutual giving rather than the unilateral possession. The in the same way establishes the specific mutuality: the obligation is equally distributed between the husband and the wife.
Bible Verses About Marriage and the Presence of God
Ecclesiastes 9:9 — ("Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun — all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.")
The enjoy life with your wife whom you love is the specific instruction of the Qoheleth who is honest about the vanity and the difficulty of the life under the sun: the enjoyment of the life with the wife is the specific gift within the difficult life rather than the promise of the life without the difficulty. The whom you love establishes the relational character: the enjoyment is the enjoyment of the relationship with the specific person who is loved rather than the enjoyment of the abstract institution of the marriage. The this is your lot in life establishes the giftedness: the wife and the enjoyment of the life with her are the specific lot, the portion, that God has given.
Proverbs 5:18-19 — ("May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.")
The rejoice in the wife of your youth and may you ever be intoxicated with her love is the specific celebration of the delight of the marriage relationship: the intoxication is the image of the comprehensive absorption in the love of the wife rather than the distraction of the eye and the desire toward the other. The wife of your youth establishes the specific faithfulness: the rejoicing and the intoxication are to be the ongoing practice with the specific woman of the covenant rather than the seeking of the new intoxication with the person who is not the wife. The Proverbs 5:15-23's sustained warning against the adultery that precedes this passage establishes the context: the rejoicing in the wife is the specific alternative to the adultery.
A Simple Way to Pray These Verses
Marriage is most honestly prayed from the honest acknowledgment of both the gift that the marriage is and the specific places where the love that the covenant requires is hardest to practice.
Ephesians 5:25 — ("Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.") Response: "The as Christ loved the church is the standard I cannot meet from my own resources. Show me what the giving up of myself looks like in the specific situation of today's marriage. Let the love be the giving rather than the receiving. Let me be the first to give rather than the last to give."
Genesis 2:24 — ("A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they become one flesh.") Response: "We are one flesh. Let me live from the one flesh reality rather than the two individuals who happen to share a space. Where I have been living as the independent individual rather than the one flesh, let me return to the leaving and the cleaving and the one flesh that the marriage was designed to be."
Song of Solomon 8:7 — ("Many waters cannot quench love.") Response: "The many waters have come. The difficulties and the years and the ordinary hardness of the life together. Let the love be the fire that the waters cannot quench. Let the covenant be stronger than the current feeling. Let the giving up of myself be the specific act that keeps the fire burning."
Frequently Asked Questions
What does the Bible say about marriage and love? The Bible presents marriage as the specific covenant that reflects the covenant between God and his people and between Christ and the church. Genesis 2:24's leaving and uniting and becoming one flesh establishes the foundational structure. Ephesians 5:25's love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her establishes the specific standard for the love within the marriage. Song of Solomon 8:6-7's love is as strong as death and many waters cannot quench it establishes the character of the love. Malachi 2:14's the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your marriage covenant establishes the divine presence in the covenant. And 1 Corinthians 13:4-7's patient and kind and always persevering establishes the specific practices of the love that the marriage requires.
What is the biblical purpose of marriage? The biblical purposes of the marriage include the companionship of the Genesis 2:18's it is not good for man to be alone, the one flesh union of the Genesis 2:24, the covenant faithfulness that reflects the covenant of God with his people, the mutual giving and receiving of the 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, and the Ephesians 5's specific imaging of the relationship between Christ and the church. The marriage is not primarily the social institution or the legal arrangement but the theological reality that reflects the love of the God who is love. The Malachi 2:15's what does the one God seek? Godly offspring establishes the generative purpose: the marriage is the specific context for the raising of the godly children who carry the faith into the next generation.
How does the Bible describe the love between husband and wife? The Bible describes the love between husband and wife in terms of both the agape love of the Ephesians 5:25 that gives itself up for the good of the other and the passionate delight of the Song of Solomon that celebrates the embodied love of the marriage. The 1 Corinthians 13:4-7's patient and kind and not self-seeking and always persevering describes the character of the love. The Song of Solomon 8:6-7's as strong as death and many waters cannot quench it describes the intensity and the persistence. And the Proverbs 5:18-19's rejoice in the wife of your youth and be intoxicated with her love describes the ongoing delight: the love of the marriage is not the fading feeling of the early years but the ongoing intoxication that is renewed in the covenant.
What does the Bible say about the roles of husband and wife? The Ephesians 5:21-33's mutual submission as the comprehensive principle and the specific applications for the wife and the husband establishes the relational framework: the wife's submission and the husband's self-giving love are the specific applications of the mutual submission from which the passage begins. The husband's love as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her establishes the specific character of the headship: the headship is defined by the self-giving love of the cross rather than the authority that serves its own interests. The 1 Corinthians 7:3-4's mutual yielding of the body establishes the mutuality of the physical relationship. The marriage is the covenant of the two who are practicing the mutual submission from within the specific roles that the Scripture describes.
How can couples keep love strong in marriage? The Song of Solomon 8:6-7's love as strong as death that many waters cannot quench establishes the character of the love that the marriage is designed to sustain. The Ecclesiastes 9:9's enjoy life with your wife whom you love establishes the specific practice: the enjoyment of the life together is the ongoing practice rather than the initial state that fades. The Proverbs 5:18-19's rejoice in the wife of your youth and be intoxicated with her love establishes the specific direction: the intoxication is to be with the specific person of the covenant rather than the seeking of the new intoxication. And the 1 Corinthians 13:4-7's keeps no record of wrongs and always perseveres establishes the specific practices: the love that keeps no record and always perseveres is the love that keeps the marriage strong through the seasons that would otherwise justify the withdrawal.
